Wednesday 5 September 2012

Hello, I have anxiety... is that the time?

There is a lot of talk at the moment about whether mental health as a general concept is becoming less of a taboo issue in today's society.  I think the fact that there is much talk about this strongly suggests that it is, and for that I'm sure everyone who has a mental health problem is grateful.  In my opinion (or IMHO, as the trendies say*), this can only be a very good thing, especially when it comes to applying for jobs and things like that.

But I always wonder what people's reaction would be if I randomly told them I had anxiety.  I recently did a blog about health anxiety for Mind, and anyone who was my friend on Facebook saw the fact that I had posted it; it apparently came up on everyone's Facebook homepage, which I didn't realise!  I received two very nice messages from unexpected people following this, sharing their experiences and wishing me well, which made me somewhat emotional I'm not ashamed to admit. 

One thing I have never done, though, is purposely talk to someone about anxiety, apart from on occasion to my parents and closest friends.  Even in these circumstances, I would never go into too much depth particularly if it coincided on a social occasion; I'd usually make light of it as though it wasn't a big deal, even though I was probably going through a living hell even at the time of saying this to them. 

But the thought of going up to someone who I was getting to know and talking about my anxiety, without a prompt from them (like them saying something like 'I have anxiety....') just doesn't seem right.  Why, though?

Maybe because I still think people would think I was weird or 'ill' if I explained to them about my anxiety.  Or they wouldn't take me seriously.  Or they would judge me... yadda yadda.  When, infact, is it me who's being the judgemental one?  Or indeed, am I insulting the majority of people's intelligence and open-mindedness by thinking that they won't be open-minded? 

It's particularly tricky if you're thinking of entering a relationship - do you bring up the fact that you have anxiety early, before something happens that lets them know for certain?  "I really like you... just bear with me whilst I have a panic attack in the toilet."

I make light of it, but the success of how one approaches this, in my mind, could have significant ramifications for your future relationships, could it not?  Or am I making a mountain out of a molehill?  Well, I do have anxiety after all...

Best wishes
Al

* I realise using the word 'trendies' undid any possibility of me being in any way 'street' by saying 'IMHO.'

2 comments:

  1. Hi, I just randomly came across your blog via a post I saw on the mind site. I also suffer with anxiety severely and particularily health anxiety since I was a small child. At this moment in time im actually going through quite a severe time of it with it and having trouble sleeping and eating and all the the charming effects anxiety can have on you. Anyway I just wanted to say without sounding like I take pleasure in your misfortune that it's comforting to find someone who goes through the same experiences. Thanks Matt.

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  2. Hi Matt, thanks for your message. Spot on - you're not alone at all. Since I've been writing this blog I've been amazed by the number of people who suffer anxiety of any sort. And you're right, it is somehow comforting! There's loads of help available out there, I hope you can use it to get through this difficult time that you're experiencing at the moment. I'm not saying it'll be easy of course, but having the confidence to talk about it is a great start. Thanks again and all the best with everything. Al

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