If you'd have said to me in February last year that I would have been on holiday four times, three on my own, in just over a year I wouldn't have even considered it being feasible. But this is what has happened. No, in an ideal world I would not have the need to travel on my own to places, but for numerous reasons outlined in my previous blog this is the reality. Fortunately, I have seen the light if you like and recognised that if I want to see any more interesting parts of the world then I am going to have to do so on my own.
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| Toilets - sadly including one on a coach - feature quite frequently in this blog post |
I started with Edinburgh just over a year ago, then Ireland last May, Canada with my friend in September (not officially alone but a huge experience nonetheless) and now it was time to visit Glasgow and Fort William (FW) in the Highlands. I had booked to stay over in Glasgow for one night (Sunday), then FW for three nights (Mon-Wed), Glasgow again for one night (Thu) before heading back on the Friday. So a five night trip in total with a combination of being able to see another new city to me and more rural locations. I broke it up like this partly so I could see both, but also because the trip from FW to home, if done in one go, takes nine hours and given my history of particularly long train journeys I figured it would be sensible to split it roughly halfway.
I am looking at my previous 'Going It Alone' blogs to ascertain the challenges that I experienced on last year's trips to determine whether they still apply now. I think the reassuring thing is that this trip was a drop in the ocean from an anxiety perspective compared to all the others. It was on a low scale in terms of magnitude compared to the trips to Ireland and Canada, sure, but going on these previous breaks has meant that my mind is now more conditioned to deal with any sort of trip away without having to worry about the protocol or the 'what ifs' quite as much.
A good example was the journey there. All previous journeys to my trips away have been anxiety producing - the first trip to Edinburgh because it was, indeed, my first time away alone and the second trips largely due to the involvement of a flight. But having achieved all this meant that the thought of catching a train to Glasgow (four hours or so) and a day later to FW (also four hours ish) and back again was far less daunting. As I said, only a year ago would this sort of trip been a real challenge, which I think demonstrates how far I've forced myself to come.
A particular challenge unique to this trip transpired on my first night in FW. I'd been out for a meal and a couple of pints (only) at a pub in the town and started to feel physically rather poor, but I just put this down to over-indulgence at this stage. I had a ten minute walk back to the hotel and gradually felt worse and worse. It was at this point that health anxiety started to kick in. "Why do I feel so bad? It must be something terrible. I'm on my own, who will help me, who can I talk to?" About ten minutes after getting back to my room, I threw up. Although physically I felt better after this, psychologically I was finding it very hard to calm down despite trying to think rationally. The rational reasons, I deduced, were that it must have just been a case of drinking the last pint too quickly or it was a bit dodgy maybe somehow, combined with having just eaten a large meal. The health anxiety reasons were saying 'it must be cancer' or some equivalent illness.
The reality is that it was probably one or other of the rational reasons combined with anxiety - because as the physical feeling intensified so did the feeling of anxiety, which probably led what may have otherwise been just a dicky tummy being churned further by the physical feelings of anxiety - and the subsequent barfing. I don't throw up very often (I try and avoid any scenario where it could happen) which is why it was a surprise and why it triggered anxiety in the way it did.
I think how I dealt with it the next day was quite positive however; I made the conscious decision to have a healthier eating and a non-alcohol drinking day and to snack throughout rather than eat a hefty meal in one go. This seemed to work well and I physically felt fine throughout most of the day which enabled me to keep anxiety in check. I built up the less healthy eating and drinking gradually again throughout the remainder of the trip(!)
Another main challenge unique to this trip was The Beast from the East as it was termed; the period of intense cold and snow that affected many in the UK. Believe it or not, despite being in the Highlands of Scotland, there was no lying snow at all in FW. I left Glasgow before the snow arrived and because FW is located to the west of the mountain ranges much of the snow was halted before it got there. There were flurries but nothing significant, albeit it was bloody cold.
However, it did affect my trip back. I was meant to catch the train back to Glasgow on the Thursday but there were no trains running beyond halfway all day. This was hardly surprising given the severity of the snow in and around the Glasgow area. So I was stuck in FW for an extra night, having to fork out nearly £100 for an extra hotel stay. So on Friday morning, I tried again - what happened then was nothing short of bizarre.
I set off to catch the 07:44 train from Fort William to Glasgow and yet again I was told by the ticket master that there were again no trains to Glasgow and no replacement bus services from Crianlarich, which is where the trains were terminating (about halfway between FW and Glasgow). He did say, however, that there was a bus that went to Glasgow from outside the station - not something the rail company put on but an independent company. So I wandered over there and sure enough there were several other people there trying to get to Glasgow to make onward journeys. I spoke to one couple and I said I was trying to get to the West Midlands. Then another couple piped up to say 'oh we're trying to get to the West Midlands too! Where are you going?' 'I'm trying to get to Stafford.' 'SO ARE WE!!'
Coincidence number one. What are the chances? Stafford is not a big place and is a long way from the Highlands! It turns out this couple's daughter's wedding was the day after and in Bedford, so they were desperate to get home.
Then the bus came in and the first thing the driver said, reassuringly, was "I am going to try to get to Glasgow but I can't guarantee I'll make it." The snow in Glasgow had been horrific so he was obviously unsure about whether he'd be able to get through. Anxious moment number one - "oh God what if we crash in a snow filled ditch somewhere?" Rational as always, but I was fulfilled to know I was in this with several others, at least.
The driver let people who had pre-booked onto the bus first, fair enough, and then said 'I've only room for a few more' bearing in mind there were about 20 people left - anxious moment number two - "what if I get stuck here yet again?!" The Stafford couple explained their situation regarding the wedding so the driver seemed to take them, the other couple I'd been speaking to and me as a group of five and he chucked my suitcase on the bus, so I was let on before anyone else had a chance to comment! I didn't argue, as I doubt I'd have another chance to get back otherwise. I did have to pay £25 for the bus journey though.
So I was on a bus to Glasgow and despite about 20 minutes through the hills where it was snowing quite heavily, the journey was fairly clear and we got to Crianlarich (the halfway point). Here, a family of Americans who were on the same train as me on the way down to FW got on although only half of them were allowed on because the bus was nearly full. But again - a coincidence that this family I'd seen on the way down got on exactly the same bus but from a different location...?!
Ultimately, we made it comfortably to Glasgow - by this time the roads were fairly clear and they had obviously been ploughed so the rail company really should have put on a rail replacement bus service but it seemed that they couldn't be bothered (I have yet to identify a better reason!) I wouldn't have had to pay £25 if they had put on a replacement bus. Having said that, I was just pleased to have made it to Glasgow by this stage relatively incident and anxiety-free.
I left the other Stafford couple to it and headed to Glasgow Central station. I had to drag my suitcase through several inches of snow which was an experience in itself. I got to the station and - yep - no trains. I asked one of the many Virgin Trains staff milling around and they said trains were running from Carlisle (which is about 100 miles south but the next stop on the train) but - again - there were no replacement bus services to Carlisle.
Anxious moment number three - what if there were no hotels in Glasgow because loads of people were stranded? So I stood to one side with my phone to look into booking something, which would have also cost me a fortune given it was a Friday and short notice. About a minute into doing this, another Virgin Trains guy with a very strong Scottish accent came up to me randomly and asked me where I was headed. I said Stafford. He said "come with me... someone has just asked us to put on a taxi from here to Carlisle so that they can catch a train to London. If you join him, you can get on a train from there towards Stafford." I wasn't sure whether to believe him...
I tried to find that couple from Stafford that I shared the bus with at this point - I saw them at Central station but that was in between speaking to the first and second Virgin Trains' people, which was when I thought I'd need to book a hotel, so I didn't speak to them then because I figured they would also have to get a hotel. By the time the taxi offer materialised, they had gone and I couldn't find them which was a shame because they could have come with us.
I was taken to the First Class Lounge... which if you've never been is basically a room with sofas (that I didn't sit on) and free coffee (that I didn't have) - anxious moment number four, mainly because I thought this was too good to be true! But sure enough, ten minutes later, I was bundled into this taxi with a chap called Mark (the guy trying to get to London) and a third person...
... A MAN I KNOW WHO LIVES IN STAFFORD AND IS A BOARD MEMBER OF THE ORGANISATION I WORK FOR. WHAT - THE - HECK???
So it turns out the person I know had been stuck in Glasgow for two extra nights having been at a conference. He was also at the station trying to get to Carlisle, and both of us had this Mark chap to thank for, his words "telling them a few white lies and giving them a few choice words" - proving that if you lay into train companies they will put transport on for you if you rant at them enough! I would never have done this of course because of the my lack of confidence in such situations, but again, they should have put a replacement bus service on from Glasgow to Carlisle because the roads were totally clear as the taxi journey proved.
I'm sorry to reiterate this but what the hell are the chances of this person I know being in the same taxi as me between Glasgow and Carlisle??!
Anxious moment number five was during the taxi journey - I really needed the toilet for a start and I didn't get the chance to go in Glasgow due to the commotion. It was also quite an intense 90 minutes - trapped in a taxi with someone I know (which added to the pressure for me to remain calm, oddly) in what was a rather whirlwind situation. Needing the loo. That said, the utter ridiculousness of the situation almost made the experience easier!
So we got to Carlisle and there were two trains going to London (which I had to catch to change at Preston); the first was rammed full and the second was the one I was booked on from Glasgow anyway so I sat in my booked seat with a coach to myself because everyone got on the first train which only left five minutes before mine!! Moreover, my train was calling additionally a Crewe, so I didn't even have to change at Preston, meaning despite it being 30 minutes late I made the same connection to Stafford that I would have made had everything been normal.
And I got home at 17:00. Which is when I was meant to get home anyway.
So yes, I had to pay £116 for an extra night in a hotel and the Fort William to Glasgow bus trip, and I lost half a day in Glasgow to see more of its sites, but had you said to me that I'd be getting home at 5pm that day when I first arrived at FW station for the station man to say 'there are no trains' I wouldn't have believed you. It truly was an extraordinarily bizarre chain of events that I just couldn't believe.
What is the most significant thing about all this? I dealt with it. Little things that helped included:
- Having plenty of water with me and some food so I didn't have to stress about this.
- Other people - simply having them thrust into the same situation was useful so we could all reassure each other!
- Breathing deeply in times if particular anxiety.
- Having 'stuff' - my phone, music, things to read etc. All very helpful distractions.
- Taking a 'I don't really care what other people think' attitude in certain situations, such as looking clumsy whilst using the toilet on the coach (never recommended I may add).
- Luck - and a lot of it!
Ultimately regardless of the hurdles and concluding travel nonsense that happened, I successfully completed another trip away without major breakdown, something which I still class as an achievement. In addition, the challenges I faced I have almost welcomed in hindsight, as it gave me a chance to determine how I would respond to these and in the end it turned out quite well. Most of the trip I managed to enjoy, with some lovely walks and site visiting.
So where to next?
Best wishes,
Al
