Anxiety reduction meds could make me more anxious?

I've just been listening to the latest Mindcast provided by the charity Mind.  I will say that this podcast idea is a fabulous one and all the podcasts will offer interesting and useful points on different elements of mental health.

Sums health anxiety up better than me...

This particular podcast focuses on a man named Gus who has had experience of anxiety and panic attacks, something which of course I too have had experience of (otherwise you wouldn't be reading this blog...)  So I can certainly relate to the points that are being raised and the horrible experiences that Gus has had brings back memories of similar circumstances that I have felt in the past. 

However, the big difference between me and Gus is the use of medication.  Gus seemed to be heavily reliant on meds (this sounds like I think he was addicted - this is not the case, but I figured I should point this out as we have to be careful when talking about medication!), which I haven't been.  True, I have been on beta blockers up to 50mg, and I still am on 12.5mg, but bar cold hands and feet they do not have any significant, tangible side effects, unlike the meds Gus refers to.

At 5:48 ish, Gus talks about the Seroxat medication, a type of SSRI.  I had vaguely heard the name of the medication but the term SSRI I had never come across before (the presenter goes on to explain at 5:52 what SSRI stands for).  At 6:02, Gus starts talking about the side-effects of the meds, which frankly frightened the living daylights out of me.  It takes away your emotions?  6:56, insomnia is also a side-effect apparently.  In my opinion, this is scary, scary stuff and is almost like, in terms of the depth of impact, as severe as some illegal drugs (so I've heard)... but for 6 consecutive months?! 

I actually feel anxious just listening to this section of the podcast, and I'm actually quite concerned that Mind haven't elaborated on this without any additional guidance on medication linked directly from this webpage (that I can see).  I'm glad the severity of the side-effects have been mentioned, but the fact that the conclusion of taking the meds appears to be a successful one in terms of panic alleviation is quite worrying.  Perhaps this is not the reaction from a fellow sufferer that Mind would have wanted?

Now, I am going to assume that Gus doesn't suffer from health anxiety.  As I've mentioned in numerous previous blogs, my health anxiety can basically be described thus:

I get a slight pain or something in my body seems different >> I catastrophise what this means (i.e it could be cancer/heart attack etc) >> Feelings intensifies as anxiety intensifies >> I become more sensitive to future pains and changes >> and so it starts again...

To emphasise, I am over-sensitive to any changes in my body.  I notice more than the average person would, and not only that, but I automatically associate it with the worst possible outcome, even if it's based on no rational research whatsoever.  The amount of panic attacks this has caused in the past is, well, lots.  I have been utterly convinced that I am on death's door on numerous occasions in the past.  It could be that health anxiety is at the hub of all my mental health problems, as it is closely, if not directly, linked to the panic disorder and OCD I have also experienced.

Being a bit twisted for a minute, it would be fascinating to see what reaction an SSRI would have on someone like me, with health anxiety.  As I said, I notice any slight changes in my body, any pains and even my mood.  I then ask 'why,' which always leads me to the incorrect conclusion.  So surely, if, as Gus says, an SSRI changes your emotions so much, it would do nothing but increase my anxiety as it would lead me to ask questions such as 'what the -f- is going on?' I'm also very pedantic over the amount of sleep I get, and sleep is very important when it comes to assisting with anxiety, from what I gather.  Surely these two consequences of the drug outweigh the positives??  Surely someone with health anxiety, highly sensitive to any bodily changes, would spiral into a world of hell if you started taking a medicine that totally changed YOU - as a person?

Or are these drugs so powerful that you genuinely wouldn't give a rats about anything?

Either way, the fact that these meds can seemingly change the way you act and mess with your mechanics so much scares me.  It's the same with (il)legal highs; I've read about what these drugs can do to you, and how many people are so blase about the side-effects.  But then, they don't have health anxiety?

Maybe this is a different strand of anxiety - it's not conventional health anxiety perhaps; it's more 'sensitive to changes in natural human processes' anxiety. 

Bar the beta blockers, I am grateful never to have taken any medication that is designed to mess around with your head.  I'm not disputing the success of anti-depressants or equivalent - I've never been on them so how can I? - but in my mind surely CBT or equivalent should at least be the first port of call?  Gus (at 5:20) says that he wished he'd done this first, even with the belated success of the medication. 

I'm sure meds are right for some people, but surely not for everyone?

Perhaps the whole of this subject is just one that is beyond my understanding or belief.  Maybe it's just the health anxiety.  Either way, I can't see how something that messes around with you so much can be a good thing in allowing the real YOU to tackle anxiety.

Best wishes
Al

Bad hospital or no hospital? Either is bad for anxiety.

Bear in mind that, for the forthcoming blog, I write in the context of someone who has health anxiety.  I've written a couple of blogs on this in the past (have a gander at my NEW LOOK SITE!!!), but basically, I have the ability to make any seemingly minor health issue or pain expand and distort out of all proportion.  One minute I have a slight shoulder ache, the next I'm two seconds away from a heart attack. 

For those of you who keep a close eye on the news, you'll have seen it dominated recently by reports into Stafford Hospital.  I live in Stafford, and needless to say that this is my nearest hospital.  The next nearest is either Wolverhampton or Stoke, the travelling distance to which could be the difference between life and death. 

I'll let you peruse the BBC website for more information, but basically, there have been chronic failures at the hospital resulting in a horrendous number of unnecessary deaths.  Whilst it seems that standards have improved in the last couple of years, it is still somewhat worrying that such goings-on in terms of a lack of basic healthcare and horrific lack of compassion from nurses can occur. 

I'm in no doubt that Stafford is not the only case of what is a much wider scandal, but it has been made an example of in light of the particularly horrendous statistics that basically show that the hospital has been more of a killer than any illness that put you in there in the first place.

The A&E has already closed at night (from 10pm until 8am) and is still shut despite original plans to have it reopened.  This means that if you require a visit to A&E at night, then one must find a way to get to Wolves or Stoke.  There are now threats that key services will be closed and the hospital downgraded, to the point whereby a protest march has been organised and will be taking place this weekend on 20th April. 

So it summary, it's in a mess.  I said earlier that it's not as bad as it was a few years ago, but you still hear mixed stories and even a couple of people I know have told me that they or their relatives have had bad experiences in the hospital within the last year.  Others, on the other hand, have nothing but praise for the hospital.  Either way, there appears to be a general consensus that Stafford needs to keep it's hospital and it's key services.

As a sufferer of health anxiety, and indeed someone who has experienced hundreds of panic attacks, it has always been comforting to know that the hospital is there, in case it ever got so bad that I felt it was necessary to go there.  Fortunately it has never come to this, but taking the hospital away from Stafford could well exacerbate an anxiety attack.  Why?  Because, when you are having an anxiety attack, one tends to grasp onto every small crumb of comfort they can to try and make them feel better - having good emergency healthcare not far away is one of them.  Travelling four miles to Stafford Hospital whilst having an anxiety attack would be bad enough, but 20 miles to Wolves or Stoke could make a year's difference in terms of fully recovering.

So having a hospital nearby, could be, at least in part, helpful for alleviating panic attacks.  On the other hand, being administered to a hospital that is poorly run could be worse than travelling 20 miles to a better one.  As I said, Stafford has been proven to have shocking healthcare standards.  This has included the basics such as cleanliness and carer competence.  If I went to a hospital with poor standards like this, this would probably make me worse. 

Pardon my generalising, but how many nurses would understand anxiety as a health problem anyway, let alone know what to do and show any compassion to a sufferer?  This shouldn't be the conclusion I jump to and it may be an incorrect wrong, but this is the impression I get from the experience I've had and from what I hear portrayed.

Secondly, my health anxiety would spiral through the roof if I went into hospital.  If I was admitted for suffering a severe panic attack, entering into a dirty, unkempt hospital would make it worse, not better.  "What if I contract c.diff (or equivalent)?" 

Moreover, being surrounded by people with actual physical health problems wouldn't help none either, although I appreciate this is somewhat unavoidable!

Two of the most important things you need when suffering from an anxiety attack are (1) comfortable surroundings filled with understanding and compassion and (2) a clean, safe environment.  Stafford Hospital, and probably many others, simply don't offer this.

Having such a poor hospital can also exacerbate health anxiety and OCD.  The last thing I want to do is get ill enough to have to go to hospital.  I don't want to break any limbs or accidentally run into a lamppost and give myself concussion.  Anything to stop you going into hospital and getting mis-treated. So what do you do?  Avoid doing anything that could cause illness or injury... thus potentially increasing 'handwashing-type' OCD and your sensitivity towards any minor pain you may get and fear that it may turn into something that would mean you going into hospital. 

There's a wider issue here - how on earth have we got to this?  When did healthcare become anything but care?

From an anxiety and wider mental health perspective though, it is paramount that we are confident in our healthcare and support, for this is key to ensuring we feel safe and protected if the worse should happen.  It must have to be something severe to administer oneself to A&E before seeing a doctor, but I'm sure it does happen.  Someone's first panic attack for example - a scary experience, and if it's a particularly bad one, you may think that it's a heart attack or equivalent. 

Naturally, the top concern is for those people who need longer-term hospital care, and for those with serious physical illnesses.  But the consequences for an anxiety sufferer of having no or a poor quality hospital cannot be good, and being exposed to the Stafford scandal doesn't fill me with glee in the future either. 

It just shows how even more important the work of Anxiety UK and Mind (and others) is, if people feel (rightly or wrongly) that they can't put the trust of their mental healthcare into the hands of the NHS.

Best wishes
Al

Mind the Gap

So, today I had a chat on the phone to Mind (see last blog post).  As I mentioned, the main aim was to get my views on what I feel is needed to help provide more support to young people, especially between the ages of 18 and 25, who have a mental health problem.
 

Mind logo



Only in the few minutes leading up to the call, but bizarrely I was actually quite nervous.  I suppose I was hoping that bringing back up the stuff from the past wouldn't set me back in any way; I think that I'd already broken through this barrier though after doing the research (again see previous blog) so gladly I was OK.

The first half of the call was spend discussing my experiences as a youth (albeit I go back much further than 18 years old) in terms of the support I received.  I concluded thus:

• The therapy I received from the NHS psychologist wasn't particularly helpful and I had to wait a year from referral to seeing someone.
• The one session of therapy I went to at the University was fairly useless; they gave me relaxation mp3's and that was about it.
• There was nothing at school or University by way of education about mental health at all.
• Support from family and friends was fairly poor, but only because I shut them out and didn't talk about it.
• I've had anxiety for a ridiculously long time (although I knew that anyway).
• The best therapy I received was the latest by Anxiety UK via webcam, following which I've been much stronger.  It also made me realise there was no 'cure' to anxiety, but moreover there are ways of managing it.
• I was confused, both about what I had and who could help me.

The second half was me giving suggestions to Mind about what support I could have done with, in light of my experiences:

• Alternative options are out there - but I didn't know about them.  I thought GPs were the only way through to obtaining help at that age.  Signposting to various services out there would have helped dramatically.
• Embedding mental health into education, where possible, is paramount.  This is tricky at school I appreciate, and whether delivered at school or Uni, it should be done by a professional (e.g. somebody who works at Mind).  But raising that awareness at that stage is very important, so that students can recognise potential mental health problems in themselves and in others.
• In achieving the above, any awareness campaign should (a) be about work and social life, (b) exploit social media and (c) not mention words like 'depression' and 'anxiety,' and rather, ask questions such as 'do you feel...' or 'is going out hard...' etc.  It should relate to people more.
• I've said this already, but signposting is vital.  Without this, no-one knows where to go.  I was asked where I'd like to see support for young people in ten years time.  I said something along the lines of 'everyone knowing where to go if they need help - a full awareness and no confusion.'

These are my opinions and do not reflect the views of... you get the idea.  Whether my points are valid or not, it was very interesting and I hope some of my ideas will help Mind to develop resources for young people.  At 11 when I first had counselling, that may have been too early to do anything.  But when I was suffering at 16+, it would have been nice to know exactly where to go.

And who knows, maybe I could have enjoyed more of my life, instead of looking for answers in a seemingly infinite world of confusion.

Best wishes
Al