I've had lots of conversations with people about social media - who doesn't? - over the past few months for one reason or another, whether it be around my Twitter account, other people's usage of social media or how we use it for work. I thought it was, therefore, timely to follow up my blog of over three years ago. Back then, I was more or less on the fence in terms of whether social media was beneficial to those with mental health problems or indeed damaging. I didn't really come to a firm conclusion. I have now made up my mind.
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| I don't count blogging as social media |
I firmly believe that social media is damaging to society, overall. Yes it has benefits, I'm not denying that. But three key reasons stick out for me as to why, overall, it is more of a hindrance than a help to positive mental health and development.
1) Addiction and obsession.
This is my main axe to grind. People cannot cope if you take them away from their social media platforms for any more than a few minutes, in extreme cases. People including myself starting setting up Facebook in about 2006, during University. If I was 18 now, I'd have basically known no other life than a Facebook life, which worries me. It worries me because people live their lives through Facebook. Everything that happens in their life is on Facebook.
One of the most worrying things I think I have heard people say is "it's not official yet because it's not on Facebook," with reference to being in a relationship. What??! So you're telling me that unless you have posted on Facebook that you're in a relationship, you're not actually in a relationship? What sort of life is that to live? Unless it doesn't say it on Facebook, it's not real?
That said, I'm single, so what do I know?
But that's the problem. People have started communicating solely through their phones and their social media platforms. Human nature's natural instinct to be nosey in other people's affairs makes it an automatic and understandable reaction to check Facebook to see what other people, or indeed, your "friends" are up to. The problem is, Facebook is a never ending splurge of news and updates from your "friends" meaning that you could spend hours and hours on it at any one time. The more people do this, the harder they find it to stop - like anything that you become addicted to.
I don't believe any of this is healthy. For a start, so much of what you read on Facebook or equivalent is utter fallacy (see point 2) with people boasting and probably making up garbage about their lives. Secondly, the art of communication is a dying one, from what I can see, and I am concerned that in 20-30 years time younger people will be so used to communicating through digital mediums that if we encounter a problem we won't have the ability to talk openly about it. This cannot be good for mental health. Moreover, anecdotal and increasingly scientific evidence is increasingly suggesting that being outdoors and taking in your surroundings is hugely beneficial for people with mental health problems. How can people truly do this when their mind is constantly buried in the blue glare of a smart phone screen? The final, most worrying point, is that young people in particular will increasingly turn to social media for mental health help. Yes, as my last blog conveyed, there is some hugely beneficial support on social media for dealing with and finding more information out about mental health problems - but only if you know where to look. Filtering through the endless myriad of social media nonsense is the last thing anyone needs when they are in crisis.
2) Comparing yourself to others.
Fortunately, I've managed to never fall into the trap of point 1, possibly because my entire childhood wasn't dominated by social media and so I remember life without it (although I also know people my age and older who are equally as addicted!) However, I am open to admit that I have viewed other people's updates and 'news' on Facebook (in particular) and started to wish that my life was more like there's. Usually, posts that make me feel this way are to do with how amazing, hot or talented their partner's are. All such posts do is remind me that the only thing amazing, hot and talented in my life is a new smart kettle that I bought the other week*.
When you get to 29 years old, and the predominant median age of your "friends" on Facebook are similar, this is an approximate summary of what your news feed consists of:
> I've been on an amazing holiday
> I'm engaged
> I've booked my honeymoon
> I've been on another amazing holiday
> I've taken a photo of my dinner
> I'm getting married in two days
> I'm getting married tomorrow
> I'm getting married right now
> Just married
> I'm pregnant
> I'm on my honeymoon
> More honeymoon photos
> More...
> Hotdog legs
> More.......
> I'm still pregnant
> I've had my baby
> I've taken another photo of my dinner
> Here is a photo of my new baby barfing his dinner onto my shoulder
> I'm pregnant again
You get the idea. Social media, Facebook in particular, is simply a platform for people to boast about how amazing they perceive their lives to be. Either that, or it is a platform for attention seeking, either by raising controversial issues or spouting about how miserable their lives are. Or indeed, it's a platform to do both.
As I've blogged about recently, I'm currently quite happy being single but I worry that in five years time I will be getting progressively lonely and cast aside from society. As such, the last thing I need to hear is how amazing people's relationships are. Of course, people sugar the truth on social media. Things on Facebook may not be in reality, but that is how it is perceived. And, especially for younger more naive people, the impact that Facebook and others can have on their self perception can be hugely damaging to their mental health. Suicides in young people are being increasingly reported, and I have no doubt that depression in young people is often caused, or partly caused, by social pressures. All social media does is exacerbate this by a million, because it is ALWAYS THERE. And because of the addiction element outlined in 1), people can't help logging on, even though they usually do get upset or, in the longer term, depressed afterwards. 2) fuels 1) which fuels 2) which fuels 1) and the cycle is very hard to break.
All I know is, that I don't want to be constantly reminded how anxiety has affected my life by other people posting about how amazing theirs is.
And frankly, even when you're not comparing yourself to other people's amazing lives, the amount of utter drivel people post on social media is absurd. I'm the opposite of someone who enjoys reading about celebrities which doesn't help, but until I deleted my Facebook account (more to come on this!) I could have told you quite a lot about people that I have absolutely no interest in BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO OPTION!
3) Trolling and bullying
This barely needs any further explanation. Ironically, it is often celebrities who are victims of Twitter trolling, which, without looking up an official definition, seems to me to basically be horrible people making, at best, persistent horrible comments about someone on Twitter or, at worst, threatening them or their family. I grant you, it's sad that this should even be an issue because there shouldn't be anyone on the planet that is nasty enough to do this. But they do, and the reality is it would be a heck of a lot harder if social media didn't exist.
For the non-celebrities amongst us, the more conventional term of 'bullying' is likely to be more appropriate. This happens a heck of a lot too, as far as I can tell. Kids who perhaps don't conform to 'the norm' or who don't bow to peer pressure can now be accessed via the Internet and bullied virtually. You hear all the time of people that have been attacked on social media for not wearing the right clothes, or for having the wrong views, or for being too far. Victims can be severely affected for a long time by this persistence harassing and because of point one, it can take a long time for young people in particular to remove their accounts or take action. It has suddenly made it easier for people to bully others, especially out of a school environment.
So is this rant about social media all hypocritical? In a way yes. Earlier this year, I did delete my Facebook account after getting increasingly fed up with drivel in my news feed making me feel low. I analysed my 7,504 "friends" (I think it was more like 100) and worked out there was only one person that I was "friends" with that I didn't have any other means of contacting them if I deleted my account - so I duly sorted that out and ensured I had their email address.
As many of you will know, I still use Twitter, but mainly 1) hopefully for the greater good by sharing my experiences of anxiety and 2) for keeping up to date with mental health news. I follow some very interesting people and for that, I am the first to admit, it is useful. It's just a shame that it is abused so often. I also have LinkedIn for work but don't use it much. I've never had Instachat or Snapgram or whatever the others are called.
I know social media can be a good thing. The last blog that I referred to conveyed some of the ways that this can be the case. But there is a lot of damage caused by it, in my opinion, and although mental health support can be sought widely via social media it can also be a significant cause of mental distress. I am concerned that we, as a society, are becoming more reliant on it.
I'm now going to Tweet about publishing this post, and I'm being serious.
Best wishes
Al
* I haven't actually bought I smart kettle.
