Anxiety Bites II

I have a few things that I would like to squeeze into one blog, hence a perfect opportunity for another round of Anxiety Bites.

Denise Welch

I am pleased that Denise Welch, Mind's new ambassador, represents another celebrity who is 'coming out' about their mental health.  Consequently she is helping to try and remove the stigma that, as she puts it in her article written in the latest Mind magazine, "sadly still exists."  It's another

Denise appearing on my favourite show

small but useful step in getting people more open about mental health as a whole.  However, one of the paragraphs in her article is her take on anti-depressants, about which she states that "I am a huge advocate of anti-depressants."  Now, I've had no experience of anti-depressants, and as I mentioned in a previous blog, I am probably 'scared' of what they can do because of my health anxiety.  I have a fear of anything tampering with the body that doesn't seem natural.  This isn't to say that I am against them, nor that, as Denise says, they are not a good solution if they are "prescribed properly."  What is disappointing, though, is the fact that counselling or alternative talking therapies aren't mentioned at all, not even in conjunction with the anti-depressants.  She makes it sound like they are the answer to everything, but even I know that this is clearly not the case.  They will help in the right circumstances, I've no doubt, but everyone and every situation is unique, and the way that they are portrayed here should have been flagged up with some caution by an expert from Mind, in my opinion.

The day my boss nearly found out about my anxiety

Mind have recently sent me some postcards, which contain their logo and a quote from someone with a mental health problem.  One of them focuses on the workplace and states that "6 out of 10 employers say they wouldn't want to take on an employee with a mental health problem."  In my wisdom, I decided to take this postcard and pin it to my desk divide at work.  Bear in mind that no-one at work knows much about my anxiety (as far as I know, unless they have stumbled across this blog in their travels).  My boss, who I get on with very well fortunately, saw this a few days after I'd put it up and said 'interesting, do you know someone who has experienced this?'  Whether by 'this' he meant problems with their employer or a mental health problem I don't know.  Either way, this was the perfect opportunity to say something about my condition, despite not having a clue how he would react.  But I'm sorry to say that I bottled it.  I'm sorry, mainly because I had a golden opportunity to try and stand up against the stigma, but failed to take it.  I just said that I support Mind and that's how I got the postcards.  Without using this as an excuse, his asking me took me right by surprise, but surely I should have expected this eventually if I decide to put a postcard next to my desk?  I'm now thinking of elaborating.  If I get the balls, I'll let you know how it goes.  What it does prove, though, is that when a job and people's opinion of you is/are potentially at stake, talking about my mental health at work is something that I feel could still impact negatively on me, simply because of the uncertainty around how people could react.  This is wrong, because as we all know, there should be no negative reaction!

Moving on...

At this juncture, I will announce that I am moving out of my parent's house again, i.e. the place I have lived for all but 10 months of my life.  I am moving into a shared accommodation with my friend, who I lived with before, and three other people.  I looked at about eight difference places in the end to try and get the right one, and at this stage I'm really very positive about the one I've chosen.  All of the people (all girls... just a coincidence of course) seem very nice, friendly and sociable.  In all seriousness, this could dramatically change my day to day routine, something I've been craving for some time.  How this will react on my anxiety is anybody's guess.  I know I need to improve my social life and engagement with people.  I know in doing this, it requires meeting new people, which the housemates will provide.  As I mentioned, they seem sociable, and enjoy going out.  This will be a huge test of my social anxiety and consequently (as all strands of my anxiety are linked) my anxiety as a whole.  I'm nervous, but looking forward to it at the same time.  All sorts of thoughts are going round and round, such as 'what about food?'  'How will I come across?'  'Should I tell them about my anxiety?'  Yadda yadda.  I'd love to be the sort of person who could go with the flow, take things one step at a time and not over-analyse situations.  I'm going to try... but I know it won't happen.  I will obviously let you know how it all goes, but without sounding melodramatic, this could alter things like never before - hopefully for the better.  The move will happen at the start of September.

Watch this space!

Best wishes
Al