Anxiety has presented me with many frustrations over the years, but none more so than being cut off from other people. I love company and I love talking to people generally; I even love doing presentations, when I know what I'm talking about and when my anxiety isn't too dominating. But what anxiety has done over the years has crippled by self-esteem, and also made me very low in confidence when it comes to speaking to anyone, or even thinking my views are valid.
One thing my therapist and general life experiences have taught me is that talking to people, whether it be professionals, fellow anxiety sufferers or friends and family can really help. Even if the person doesn't fully 'understand' the problem, if they can empathise and if they can offer their support even as a gesture, it really is comforting.
Anxiety also has the frightening ability to make you want to talk less during your lowest times. One of my on-going struggles is eating out (no doubt I'll blog about this separately in future!), and when I'm eating out even with a close friend(s), when I'm going through the inevitable struggle of anxiety I don't talk about it and I swallow all my words. Infact I end up swallowing more words than food...
I'm trying desperately to snap out of this regime. I am far more open about talking about anxiety now, although I still find it difficult to bring it up at the most crucial times... i.e., when I'm most anxious.
As I mentioned before, it's also given me long-term self-esteem issues in certain circumstances, which can really restrict life development.
What I do have now, though, is a desire to share my anxious experiences with others. I don't have any therapist qualifications, far from it, but what I do have is experience of certain types of anxiety and experience of its impacts both in the short and long term. I want to share this with people who perhaps don't know where to turn and help them by knowing there are others like them out there. Hence why I set up this blog, and hence why I have recently signed up to Anxiety UK's HealthUnlocked forum space, which is exactly what this aims to do (and seems to me to already be proving successful).
It's getting that message across that's most difficult - how can I share my experiences and get people talking about anxiety on a local scale? Time to wrack my brains I think.
I'm a people person. I love the feelings you get from talking to people you share even the slightest connection with. Anxiety, whilst weakening you on the surface, can actually strengthen your ability to do this, especially when connecting with people who know what it's like.
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