Time to come off the meds?

As I'm sure I've mentioned before, I've been on beta blockers to stem severe anxiety attacks for a long period of time.  Overall, I would guess I've been on them for about four years, in two different spells.  Given I'm only 25, that's quite a long time.


These stop my heart from taking off


I haven't [touch wood] had any major anxiety attack now for a long time, and I'm pleased to say that my confidence in terms of certain situations, such as catching the train or any sort of public interaction, has improved greatly in the last 6-12 months.  I'm on 25mg which is the smallest dosage you can get (I've been on 50mg before on both occassions), but I take one everyday and have done so in this spell since April last year. 

But, given the above, one would argue that I can begin to wean myself off the beta blockers now.  By wean, I mean literally halve tablets, so that I take 12.5mg a day, on average.  I have a tablet cutter which is specifically designed to cut tablets into bits... Sounds ludicrous I appreciate.

The aim of course is, after a relatively short amount of time, to come off them completely.

What are the problems?  What do you think...

- I worry that by coming off them I'll be more 'prone' or vulnerable to an anxiety attack occurring...

- ...and should it do so, it will be more severe than if I were to be on the tablets because I haven't got that thing to stop my heart racing out of control.

- I'm also concerned that I will notice the effects from a health persepective that reducing the dosage might produce.  Hell, I have health anxiety, so I might even make up some physical discomforts that I will end up attributing to the medication reduction.  Needless to say this could also generate an anxiety attack.

I mean, I have anxiety, so something seemingly trivial becomes way over-analytical.

Let's turn this around for a second - instead of the above, this is what I should be thinking:

- I'm having the thought that I'll be more 'prone' or vulnerable to an anxiety attack occurring...

- I'm having the thought that an anxiety attack will be more severe than if I were to be on the tablets because I haven't got that thing to stop my heart racing out of control.

- I'm having the thought that I will notice the effects from a health persepective that reducing the dosage might produce. 

I've learnt, through therapy, that these things are merely concotions that I have formed inside my head and have no tangible basis.  It's only the thoughts that will make the above points more likely to become a reality. 

The other thing I learnt is not to concentrate on my heart rate.  I used to be obsessive when it came to checking my heart beat, and at any sign of 'danger' I used to automatically check how fast my heart was beating.  I certainly do it less now, and if I do find myself doing it I am more able to stop.  But it's certainly something that will help, and I need to work harder at it to make it a really powerful tool when I do reduce the meds. 

My main concern is that, whether it goes successfully or not, the process of coming off the meds will disrupt my life in a negative way, simply because of all the work that may have to go into making it a success in the first place... is it worth it? 

Hang on a minute...

I'm having the thought that, whether it goes successfully or not, the process of coming off the meds will disrupt my life in a negative way, simply because of all the work that may have to go into making it a success in the first place... is it worth it?

I think this phrase could apply to any negative predictive thoughts, couldn't it?

Anyway, I will no doubt report back on how it goes.

Best wishes

Al