Pizza Off

I posted a blog fairly recently about my problems with eating out.  Somehow, I have managed to avoid an evening meal out, bar the odd takeaway in a pub (don’t ask) for getting on for a year.  But this is all about to change.



Pizza Express, or 'hell,' Stafford



*Dramatic drum music, with fanfare*

A week on Friday, there is a meal out planned for someone’s work leaving do.  Given the economic climate, there have been many leaving dos lately and all of them have had meals involved.  I, however, have always ‘just gone out for drinks afterwards’ as I have ‘things I need to do’ beforehand. 

Basically, I’ve lied to get out of it.  I’ve had a reality check this time though.  Why should I have to lie to get out of an occasion simply because it might not agree with anxiety? 

But this particular meal out is going to be hard.  It’s at Pizza Express in Stafford, which is actually a nice venue for a meal out.  But this particular restaurant has a pretty big stigma attached to it.  I remember, eight years ago now, there was a meal at P.E that involved quite a few people, at which I had my first major ‘struggling’ episode in terms of eating out (see previous blog), which put me off eating for a long time subsequently.  Of course at the time, I didn’t really know what was going on, which made it all the worse. 

I’ve also had a couple of less major ‘struggles’ at P.E since this incident, which have meant, all in all, I don’t like going there.

So after I agreed to challenge myself by going for a meal out, when it transpired that it was going to be at P.E, I raised an eyebrow awry in ‘sod’s law’ irony. 

The main thing I have to do is remember that, actually, people aren’t going to be focusing on me; they will be focusing on the person who is leaving.  So why should there be any pressure on me?  Easier said than done, of course...

I’m not really sure what I’m feeling about it.  Ask me this time next week.  But what I do know is that it is a challenge that I feel I need to set myself, so I can move on into the future...

...into the future, where, on 21 December, I will be attending a Christmas meal at another venue in Stafford. 

Hurrah!

Merry Christmas and a happy pizzeria.

Best wishes

Al